A cautionary tale

If the hot water faucet in your bathtub ever breaks loose, making it nigh unto impossible to turn off the scalding hot water without throwing all your weight against it and twisting at the same time, all the while shoving a curious toddler back with one of your feet, BEWARE:


Your kids will still have to be bathed. They know this. They will force their hand, and require bathing in the master bathtub. The big one in the corner of your room. The one you don't let them climb in, because it is filled with spiders. And also, because it's yours.



They will love it. It will be all they have dreamed of and more. After all, in a giant tub, you can swim like a dolphin. Or half-drown your sister. So much fun in a giant tub.


Kids who love giant tubs will do anything to get more baths in the giant tub. Eat suckers. And peanut butter and jelly. If that doesn't work, they move to the old standby...

Dipping their heads in mud puddles. That should do it. That does do it. This boy likes himself a bath in the giant tub.